bullet-stopping love handles story
this is priceless:
Frazier also told the newspaper that she had been "hollering" that she wanted to lose weight. She now said "I want to be as big as I can if it's going to stop a bullet."
Because if you can save yourself from a bullet who cares if you will slowly kill yourself being as big as a house!
This is the bullet-stopping weave, back by popular demand.
the bullet-stopping weave
"They was going past me, zoom, zoom and the window was shattering," said Bonds. "Oh Lord! I am alive! Am I dead? What's going on? I'm not even 21 yet!" "I've been wearing it for years. I've invested a lot of money into this weave," said Bonds. "It saved my life. It saved my life."
First off, I love that her name is Bonds. I think that might be an idea for the next James Bond movie – bullet-stopping weaves. I hope they can be as pretty as the one she is wearing.
Am I dead? What’s going on? Well…if you were dead you wouldn’t be shrieking at everyone now would you. obviously you're still alive. Wearing that thing for years? Invested a lot of money? I want to know how many years and how much money is “a lot of money” and how much does one spend on an weave like this one. I wouldn't think it would be more than maybe $50, at most. I’m glad this one saved her life. i wonder if she cuddles up with it at night, wrapping it in her arms and cooing at it like it is a strange little purple animal.
Unfortunately I couldn’t find any other stories in this genre but I am becoming a big fan. It’s right up there with cheesus.
