Wednesday, July 30, 2008

baby cheesus



this morning on my way to work i drove behind a truck with a bumpersticker that said "fight fetus fear." instantly it conjured images of people with fetal phobia, screaming and shaking at the sight of a fetus. even the mention of a fetus would bring about sweating and the beginning pangs of panic. I had a friend in SF who had a cat named fetus. i wonder if that could be a subset of this phobia: fear of cats and fetuses? catfetalphobia.

michael sent me a video this morning about some stupid american finding a cheeto in the shape of jesus. desperation? how long did it take to find that? did they have jesus on the mind while eating their cheetos? what if the dog grabbed it out of their hand and they'd lose their 5 minutes of fame? i wonder if they have that thing framed in their kitchen. too bad when it starts rotting it won't look much like jesus anymore, more like the swamp thing. oh holy swamp thing will you die for my sins too?

Cheesus


Monday, July 28, 2008

weekend recap

Friday :
Michael and I made our circuit of the boy bars downtown. We were both tired so we didn’t make it past midnight. Said hello to iran in Silverado and caught some “sticky p” except Michael had his back to the stripper and missed it. He did get to see the dollar wedged between the ‘p’ and balls though. Then off to hobo’s to say hello to Maddy before checking things out at CC Slaughter’s. It’s bear night which would have been fun except that the place was full and smelled like sweat. So we left. Then onto Casey’s, the new eagle. Casey’s was pretty dead so we only stayed long enough for one beer. We end up at Red Cap, grab another beer and sit at the dance floor watching people dance and wincing at the bad music choices. Finally we get tired of it and head home. Not our usual exciting night out.

Saturday:
Catch up on much-needed sleep and then have brunch with riza at pam biche. Yum. Where riz tells me I’m such a prissy gay boy. I think it was the comment I made about not wanting to eat too many carbs for breakfast because I will bloat under my tight t-shirt but I didn’t care about drinking beer later in the day, go figure. Afterwards we pick up Michael to go to the Oregon brewer’s festival and we’re twins: dark jeans, black shirts, sunglasses and almost the same hair except his is black, mine red. Amazing. No wonder people think we’re a couple.

Brewer’s festival was packed full of let’s say, interesting people. It seemed like all of portland was there to drink the beer. So that meant really long lines of people crowded together under the giant tent for each beer. You stand in line for 20 minutes to fill your souvenir mug and then go wait in another line. We tried 3 beers and were done with the crowd. Michael found a watermelon pale ale from a san Francisco brewery called 21st Century which sounds gross but tasted great. So good that Michael was chewing the cup in frustration for more. a couple walked over to michael and i while we waited for riza to go pee and told me they saw me walking out of the tent and were amazed i was old enough to drink. when i told them my age, they couldn't believe it. awesome. let's see how many years i can keep this up. after the beer thing we went home. he went to bed early and i took advantage of an empty house and watched movies in the living room at home.

sunday:
picked up some snacks and jess for wine in the park with michael and joey pre-kickball. played war with dirty cards while we waited for the boys to show up and did a little match-up with the cards that grossed out the boys. lol. headed over to the other park for kickball. it was amazing, michael was out there playing his heart out. it's his new favorite thing. i sat with joey and had some bonding-time. me, jess and the boys were all happy and wine-drunk. michael kept stumbling over announcing he couldn't see the field but could he have more wine. after the game was some 4-square. joey and i went to play on the swings. sat down and a little dog comes along and pees on my bag. nice. didn't need that to end my night. post-kickball i went with the boys to Ringside for steakbites. yum!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

badge in the toilet

i have a new badge for work because my old one started dying last week. it was pathetic watching me slap that thing against the security sensors at the doors hoping it would open the door. i think it's because i've kept it in my back pocket for 3 years. finally i gave up and emailed for a new one. which is all nice and clean and works without the slapping. it also has something to clip to my pants with.

this clip however, is useless. i was in the bathroom and the stupid thing fell into the toilet (before i peed, thank you). gross. luckily no one else was in there to watch me washing the stupid thing off. disgusting. i'm also happy no one was in there to hear me say "oh f--k, really?" after it fell in.

i hope it didn't break. that would be just my luck.

*update*
badge works, no problems. still grossed out.