with the negative comes the positive. it makes me happy when the positive outweighs the negative. this has been one of those weeks. i’ll go with negative being sick and so congested i can’t breathe unless it’s through my mouth but then i hate doing that – breathing out of my mouth. it makes me feel self-conscious. i know, weird. it’s one of my weird things. i also feel like there’s a never ending amount of mucus in my face that no amount of blowing my nose can get rid of. positive being i finally caught up with two of my favorite california people: sara and weston! it’s been months since i talked to them last. i missed them SO much. i told weston he should come up and visit me while sara’s visiting and it can be like old times. they’re both so funny. we’d be trouble. i don’t know why we go months without talking but then we pick up like no time has passed. i need to be better about keeping in contact especially since i love talking to them both so much. i’ve also known them forever so it makes me sad if too much time passes without seeing or talking to them. weston, i’ve known since i was 15 so that’s 15 years! then sara i’ve known since i was 19, so there’s 11 years there. wow. i’ll stop myself now before i get all nostalgic. my heart’s so warm and fuzzy right now.
weston wants to come up and ski on mt. hood but he’s super skier and i’ve only gone once. it was with him when i was 17. i hated it. maybe it will be different now that i’m not straightedge and can have a stiff drink after my first run down to calm the fear of breaking my legs while skiing. maybe i’ll have a stiff one before going down too. i’ll also make sure to have the right clothing. nothing is worse than being in the snow without the right clothing and not only being pissed about falling ten million times because it’s scary but being soaked through and cold. it was traumatic. yes, i will need a drink before going down for sure. maybe two.
when sara’s here i can’t wait to show her around. she came to visit when i first moved here and i didn’t really know where to take her. at least now i know of some places to go out at night for dancing and people watching. i’m sure the queer scene will feel like san francisco to her. apparently los angeles has turned into bi-tunaville where short hair on girls is a rarity and everyone wants to “kiss a girl.” maybe i’m in the wrong place.
i’m so happy it’s friday. i can’t wait for the weekend. it’s supposed to be in the 80’s which is cool but i was kinda hoping for a rainy day so i could make a fire in the fireplace and sit all cozy-like in the living room. i’m sure we will have plenty of those days and i should soak up these warm days while they’re here. maybe if my congestion eases up i’ll go for a bike ride this weekend.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
congested but still dancing
Why is it when the seasons change my body revolts against it in a mess of congestion, coughing and ear aches.
It started last week. I started sneezing Tuesday. Wednesday the sore throat and fever started. I wasn’t too much fun at Top Model-Project Runway night. I wanted to curl up on auggie’s couch and sleep while all 30 other people were excited about leanne’s success on the show and in new york. I woke up Thursday a complete mess. I felt awful so I called in to work and fell asleep until Abigail knocked on my bedroom door at 1:00 asking if I was okay and telling me I need to eat some chicken soup. I wasn’t hungry but my stomach woke up after the first few bites and suddenly I was ravenous. I showered and then set her up on my computer to play age of empires 3. the day consisted of Abigail on my computer gaming away for hours while I read my book. Later on in the night I watched a movie with althee and then crawled into bed around 11.
Friday I woke up still feeling really sick so I called in to work again and then called my doctor. Went in around 9am for my appointment and was told not to worry it’s not walking pneumonia again. Again being last year around this time I had walking pneumonia for 3 months, then contracted all three strains of the cold going around and after that I had a sinusitis and an ear infection. My body loves me. I wasn’t healthy until april of this year. I know, horrible. So I learned my lesson and kept my stubborn ass at home to sleep and took myself to the doctor for antibiotics right away. I’m on augmentin which is part of the penicillin family. Yeah, hard core antibiotics! I had the fever until Saturday and I think it abated because of the antibiotics. Oh, and the sleep I was giving myself. That’s what I lacked last year – sleep. Who has time for sleep when you’re going to school part time and working 35 hours a week? Oh, and having one of the most difficult classes during my whole time there. Talk about perfect timing but I managed to get an A in that class regardless. Go me.
Saturday Abigail tells me we’re getting a couch! Finally. So I spent the next few hours moving things around and re-organizing the living room. I think my fever kicked back in a little because I was sweating more than I really should and I kept getting dizzy. Good news is the living room looks like a living room now. It’s no longer an awkward, cluttered uncomfortable circle of chairs clustered around the television. Yuck. Now we’re all hanging out in there. I love it!!! It’s perfect for the weather change. I can’t wait to have fires in the fireplace. A friend at work gave me a new stereo that has surround sound so we have a full entertainment set up in there too. It makes me happy. after moving all the furniture around you would think I was too exhausted to do anything other than veg-out on the couch. Oh no. it was gaycation at the Holocene! I had to go dancing!
I took Abigail with me to pick up jet and her friend visiting from new york. We had a blast! I danced my little heart out because I wasn’t there to meet anyone so I wasn’t too concerned about not getting too hot. Holocene has something against circulating air or any kind of cooling system so it was sweltering on the dance floor. It didn’t help it was totally packed. So I was sweating like crazy. I know, gross. Of course I kept running into people who wanted to hug me. I would apologize but no one seemed to care. I got a couple second hugs after that. lol. I tried to just stay on the dance floor with jet somewhere in the middle. Andrea was spinning which meant super fun music too. I haven’t danced that much in a long time. It reminded me and jet’s cat club days in the city. I’m so glad to have her back. I missed her.
Sunday I slept in. sat out with althee in the living room and watched some tv and a movie. I wanted to play some sims 2 but decided to go see a movie with abigail and chase. We went to see “Burn After Reading.” I thought it was awful. We all agreed it was a middle-aged movie. It was disappointing because the previews made it look funny. Afterwards we all went to ole ole for Mexican food and then home. Abigail and I started a puzzle on the floor but quit because it was missing too many pieces. I was still feeling a little sick but it was mostly because the congestion moved to my left ear. At least the fever was gone. I think dancing helped.
It started last week. I started sneezing Tuesday. Wednesday the sore throat and fever started. I wasn’t too much fun at Top Model-Project Runway night. I wanted to curl up on auggie’s couch and sleep while all 30 other people were excited about leanne’s success on the show and in new york. I woke up Thursday a complete mess. I felt awful so I called in to work and fell asleep until Abigail knocked on my bedroom door at 1:00 asking if I was okay and telling me I need to eat some chicken soup. I wasn’t hungry but my stomach woke up after the first few bites and suddenly I was ravenous. I showered and then set her up on my computer to play age of empires 3. the day consisted of Abigail on my computer gaming away for hours while I read my book. Later on in the night I watched a movie with althee and then crawled into bed around 11.
Friday I woke up still feeling really sick so I called in to work again and then called my doctor. Went in around 9am for my appointment and was told not to worry it’s not walking pneumonia again. Again being last year around this time I had walking pneumonia for 3 months, then contracted all three strains of the cold going around and after that I had a sinusitis and an ear infection. My body loves me. I wasn’t healthy until april of this year. I know, horrible. So I learned my lesson and kept my stubborn ass at home to sleep and took myself to the doctor for antibiotics right away. I’m on augmentin which is part of the penicillin family. Yeah, hard core antibiotics! I had the fever until Saturday and I think it abated because of the antibiotics. Oh, and the sleep I was giving myself. That’s what I lacked last year – sleep. Who has time for sleep when you’re going to school part time and working 35 hours a week? Oh, and having one of the most difficult classes during my whole time there. Talk about perfect timing but I managed to get an A in that class regardless. Go me.
Saturday Abigail tells me we’re getting a couch! Finally. So I spent the next few hours moving things around and re-organizing the living room. I think my fever kicked back in a little because I was sweating more than I really should and I kept getting dizzy. Good news is the living room looks like a living room now. It’s no longer an awkward, cluttered uncomfortable circle of chairs clustered around the television. Yuck. Now we’re all hanging out in there. I love it!!! It’s perfect for the weather change. I can’t wait to have fires in the fireplace. A friend at work gave me a new stereo that has surround sound so we have a full entertainment set up in there too. It makes me happy. after moving all the furniture around you would think I was too exhausted to do anything other than veg-out on the couch. Oh no. it was gaycation at the Holocene! I had to go dancing!
I took Abigail with me to pick up jet and her friend visiting from new york. We had a blast! I danced my little heart out because I wasn’t there to meet anyone so I wasn’t too concerned about not getting too hot. Holocene has something against circulating air or any kind of cooling system so it was sweltering on the dance floor. It didn’t help it was totally packed. So I was sweating like crazy. I know, gross. Of course I kept running into people who wanted to hug me. I would apologize but no one seemed to care. I got a couple second hugs after that. lol. I tried to just stay on the dance floor with jet somewhere in the middle. Andrea was spinning which meant super fun music too. I haven’t danced that much in a long time. It reminded me and jet’s cat club days in the city. I’m so glad to have her back. I missed her.
Sunday I slept in. sat out with althee in the living room and watched some tv and a movie. I wanted to play some sims 2 but decided to go see a movie with abigail and chase. We went to see “Burn After Reading.” I thought it was awful. We all agreed it was a middle-aged movie. It was disappointing because the previews made it look funny. Afterwards we all went to ole ole for Mexican food and then home. Abigail and I started a puzzle on the floor but quit because it was missing too many pieces. I was still feeling a little sick but it was mostly because the congestion moved to my left ear. At least the fever was gone. I think dancing helped.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
dancing.brunch.river.guitar hero
I went out dancing at blow pony saturday night with jet and we drank too much but we also danced equally as much. riza and avi came out too. it was such a fun night. i found a boy who dances like me which was super cute. i was too drunk to drive home so i left my car downtown and riza and avi drove me home. the next morning I woke up to my roommates laughing in the kitchen so I woke up (sideways and on my pillows) and jumped out of bed, opened my bedroom door and stood with my hands on my hips. then they had me in giggles (i think i was still a little drunk from the night before). I was wide awake and perky. Funny how that happens. I told them about my night and grabbed some coffee and water so my perkiness didn't wear off into a hangover.
Later around 11 riza and avi grabbed me to get my car and drive up to jet and morgan’s house in the NE for brunch before we went out to the river. jet made vegan biscuits with vegan sausage gravy. avi made strawberry pancakes. I brought the sharp cheddar, thyme, oregano garlic and onion biscuits I made saturday morning. then I made scrambled eggs with paprika, cheese and cumin. We also had black beans and orange slices. We had orange juice and coffee too. YUM! Then off to the river for a few hours of swimming and floating around in our inner tubes.
when I got home I was exhausted but Abigail was making a really good salad and shared her fixin’s with me. I gobbled that down and went to take a nap. Woke up around 8:30 to my roommates laughing loudly again and I go wobbling down the hallway to see what all the commotion was about. seems they were laughing about the same thing they were so boisterous about in the morning - a very stinky container of rotting beans found in the back of the fridge and the reactions each of them had after getting a whiff of it. I hang out with them for a couple hours and then back to bed. I was really sore and tired after the weekend. Really tired but it was so much fun!
last night i met jamie, rachel and wendy for happy hour at Chesterfield's and then over to rachel and wendy's for curry chicken and vegetables and GUITAR HERO! wee! jamie, maddy and abigail were there too. so good. how i had the energy for it i dunno. i'll say it was the tequila in my drink.
Later around 11 riza and avi grabbed me to get my car and drive up to jet and morgan’s house in the NE for brunch before we went out to the river. jet made vegan biscuits with vegan sausage gravy. avi made strawberry pancakes. I brought the sharp cheddar, thyme, oregano garlic and onion biscuits I made saturday morning. then I made scrambled eggs with paprika, cheese and cumin. We also had black beans and orange slices. We had orange juice and coffee too. YUM! Then off to the river for a few hours of swimming and floating around in our inner tubes.
when I got home I was exhausted but Abigail was making a really good salad and shared her fixin’s with me. I gobbled that down and went to take a nap. Woke up around 8:30 to my roommates laughing loudly again and I go wobbling down the hallway to see what all the commotion was about. seems they were laughing about the same thing they were so boisterous about in the morning - a very stinky container of rotting beans found in the back of the fridge and the reactions each of them had after getting a whiff of it. I hang out with them for a couple hours and then back to bed. I was really sore and tired after the weekend. Really tired but it was so much fun!
last night i met jamie, rachel and wendy for happy hour at Chesterfield's and then over to rachel and wendy's for curry chicken and vegetables and GUITAR HERO! wee! jamie, maddy and abigail were there too. so good. how i had the energy for it i dunno. i'll say it was the tequila in my drink.
Friday, September 12, 2008
today's astroslam.
pisces:
Silence all of your random thoughts today. You're pretty adept at zoning out and journeying to your own private happy place, so venture there for the day. Just don't let your boss see you 'screensaving' in front of your computer.
i love it. zoning out to my happy place...that's a daily event.
Silence all of your random thoughts today. You're pretty adept at zoning out and journeying to your own private happy place, so venture there for the day. Just don't let your boss see you 'screensaving' in front of your computer.
i love it. zoning out to my happy place...that's a daily event.
night at home
Abigail, Althee and I made the best dinner last night and ate it on the deck. I love nights like this. i cooked up the orange chicken (trader joe's), jasmine rice and stir fried some veggies. Abigail taught us how to make veggie salad rolls and the dippy sauce for it. Then we made orange and vodka drinks. So good. I can't wait to eat my leftovers today for lunch. we were all so stuffed we couldn't move and had to sit around, groan and pat our bellies. not without abigail pushing us to eat more of the veggie rolls. if i had one more bite i felt like i was going to be sick. lol
afterwards we watched a movie, "the invisible." pass this one up. it's horrible. it was like watching a melodramatic music video that advertised itself as a "thriller" when there was nothing thrilling about it except when two of the characters shot each other and that was only a couple seconds long. even the part when the lead dude was beaten wasn't that gripping. it felt like an afterthought when i think it was supposed to be the turning point of the movie. it was all build-up and then a weak finish. i gave it a chance because it came from the same people as Sixth Sense and what were they thinking? at least there was good lighting and the shots were pretty. i'll give it that much.
I've been thinking about how it was great living alone and sometimes I miss it but then I have nights like last night and I really love living with these girls. It's nice having abigail there who doesn't like eating alone so she makes a point to have dinner together. Usually it's just the two of us. we've cooked some pretty amazing meals too. althee gets super excited when we ask her to join in. jamie's usually at work or busy but sometimes gets in on it. Or every morning abigail and/or althee's up with me and making coffee in the morning. I like that. Sometimes I get to sit at the table and have breakfast with someone. it's just a nice feeling having someone else home. i'm having roommate love today. ;)
afterwards we watched a movie, "the invisible." pass this one up. it's horrible. it was like watching a melodramatic music video that advertised itself as a "thriller" when there was nothing thrilling about it except when two of the characters shot each other and that was only a couple seconds long. even the part when the lead dude was beaten wasn't that gripping. it felt like an afterthought when i think it was supposed to be the turning point of the movie. it was all build-up and then a weak finish. i gave it a chance because it came from the same people as Sixth Sense and what were they thinking? at least there was good lighting and the shots were pretty. i'll give it that much.
I've been thinking about how it was great living alone and sometimes I miss it but then I have nights like last night and I really love living with these girls. It's nice having abigail there who doesn't like eating alone so she makes a point to have dinner together. Usually it's just the two of us. we've cooked some pretty amazing meals too. althee gets super excited when we ask her to join in. jamie's usually at work or busy but sometimes gets in on it. Or every morning abigail and/or althee's up with me and making coffee in the morning. I like that. Sometimes I get to sit at the table and have breakfast with someone. it's just a nice feeling having someone else home. i'm having roommate love today. ;)
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
feeling heated
/rant
who i am is discriminated against in the country i live in. our [glbt people] worth as full citizens of this country is compromised and we're apathetic about it! here we have obama, someone who is as familiar with communities who have not enjoyed their full civil rights and someone who knows so intimately the issue of civil rights can turn around and say "this is a difficult issue and we could maybe come to terms with these people." what is that? we should be treated equally. for a man who uses his words to communicate his dreams about this country he's awfully weak on this. gay people are again pushed over to the shelf for later; how can gay people feel otherwise? either you think we are equal and deserve rights of heterosexuals or you do not. you either believe we are full citizens of this country or you do not. guarantee equality for everyone in this country. gimme a break. cut through the bs. if you want to say the american people are not ready to extend the american dream completely 100% to glbt people. fine, say it. then own it. then we can deal with it and see it for what it is. but sidestepping the issue and saying we have to wait a little bit longer. i'm sorry, i don't care if you don't agree. nowhere in the constitution does it say in order for us to get along that we have to agree on everything. but we do have to treat people equally under the law.
i don't care what your religion says about gay people. if your religion said people missing a leg should be shot, you can't do that in this country. you can have that opinion but you don't get to make policy for the rest of us. we have a constitution that says we treat people equally how obvious does that get. this country did not extend full citizenship to everyone when it was written and this country still has that problem...but we're moving in a better direction. slowly. why do we have to wait until it's "right" or why is there so many of us denied full citizenship that hear ourselves saying "things will be better eventually, when the country is 'ready" for it. no! i don't have to settle for that. for someone who's grown up instilled with the ideology of this country i don't have to settle for that. i want my civil rights. i want equality, now. why aren't we all saying this? why, with all of our social networks with the sheer volume of voices are we not making more noise?
i want religion to stop playing a part in our politics. it's not healthy. why does our government brown nose up the ass of christianity? i don't want your ideology in my government. again with the equality! we have people of all kinds of beliefs in this country why are we adhering to one belief system. why do we atone to one book, one religion because yes, it's big and powerful but it's not equality. it gives these people who are extremely judgmental and demeaning too much power. this is not a theocracy. get your religious issues out of my government and my rights. separation of church and state - so why have we had so many faith-based initiatives? i wrote a research paper about homeless teenage glbt kids and the abuse, neglect and dismissal by organizations that could be helpful to them but are not because they are faith-based. here we have a president who raised funding for organizations to help out the homeless populations in our country but only if they are faith-based. forget about this marginalized population of teenage kids who because they can't find a safe place after being rejected from their own families or having to find a safe place because their home was too dangerous to live in - have nowhere safe to go. forget about funding the organizations that may serve marginalized populations. forget about supporting all of the people in our country; especially those that are hurting the most. the suicide rate among these kids is staggering.
i feel like rational thinking has gone out the window the last eight years and i'm so scared of rational thought continuing to struggle in the direction this country is going. then we have this election and who is to say things will really shift in a significant way. i really hope so. i hope for rational minds to prevail.
/end rant
who i am is discriminated against in the country i live in. our [glbt people] worth as full citizens of this country is compromised and we're apathetic about it! here we have obama, someone who is as familiar with communities who have not enjoyed their full civil rights and someone who knows so intimately the issue of civil rights can turn around and say "this is a difficult issue and we could maybe come to terms with these people." what is that? we should be treated equally. for a man who uses his words to communicate his dreams about this country he's awfully weak on this. gay people are again pushed over to the shelf for later; how can gay people feel otherwise? either you think we are equal and deserve rights of heterosexuals or you do not. you either believe we are full citizens of this country or you do not. guarantee equality for everyone in this country. gimme a break. cut through the bs. if you want to say the american people are not ready to extend the american dream completely 100% to glbt people. fine, say it. then own it. then we can deal with it and see it for what it is. but sidestepping the issue and saying we have to wait a little bit longer. i'm sorry, i don't care if you don't agree. nowhere in the constitution does it say in order for us to get along that we have to agree on everything. but we do have to treat people equally under the law.
i don't care what your religion says about gay people. if your religion said people missing a leg should be shot, you can't do that in this country. you can have that opinion but you don't get to make policy for the rest of us. we have a constitution that says we treat people equally how obvious does that get. this country did not extend full citizenship to everyone when it was written and this country still has that problem...but we're moving in a better direction. slowly. why do we have to wait until it's "right" or why is there so many of us denied full citizenship that hear ourselves saying "things will be better eventually, when the country is 'ready" for it. no! i don't have to settle for that. for someone who's grown up instilled with the ideology of this country i don't have to settle for that. i want my civil rights. i want equality, now. why aren't we all saying this? why, with all of our social networks with the sheer volume of voices are we not making more noise?
i want religion to stop playing a part in our politics. it's not healthy. why does our government brown nose up the ass of christianity? i don't want your ideology in my government. again with the equality! we have people of all kinds of beliefs in this country why are we adhering to one belief system. why do we atone to one book, one religion because yes, it's big and powerful but it's not equality. it gives these people who are extremely judgmental and demeaning too much power. this is not a theocracy. get your religious issues out of my government and my rights. separation of church and state - so why have we had so many faith-based initiatives? i wrote a research paper about homeless teenage glbt kids and the abuse, neglect and dismissal by organizations that could be helpful to them but are not because they are faith-based. here we have a president who raised funding for organizations to help out the homeless populations in our country but only if they are faith-based. forget about this marginalized population of teenage kids who because they can't find a safe place after being rejected from their own families or having to find a safe place because their home was too dangerous to live in - have nowhere safe to go. forget about funding the organizations that may serve marginalized populations. forget about supporting all of the people in our country; especially those that are hurting the most. the suicide rate among these kids is staggering.
i feel like rational thinking has gone out the window the last eight years and i'm so scared of rational thought continuing to struggle in the direction this country is going. then we have this election and who is to say things will really shift in a significant way. i really hope so. i hope for rational minds to prevail.
/end rant
Monday, September 8, 2008
When Teletubbies Attack
Teletubby attacked me in Welsh nightclub, claims tourist
A TOURIST claims he was attacked by a giant Teletubby.
The 35-year-old IT worker from London says he was punched on the head by Po, the red Teletubby, in Porthcawl’s Streets Nightclub.
A TOURIST claims he was attacked by a giant Teletubby.
The 35-year-old IT worker from London says he was punched on the head by Po, the red Teletubby, in Porthcawl’s Streets Nightclub.
He followed the man but could only find two other Teletubbies. Laa-Laa – a man from Pyle – told police he did not know Po, while Dipsy refused to give any details.
Detective Sergeant Richard Jones said: “Police are treating this matter seriously.”
The incident happened last Sunday at 1am.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
puppy dog at the window
while on my morning break i left my security badge at my desk and had to stand at the windows that separate the elevators and the office; waiting for someone to let me in. i feel pathetic standing there with my coffee in one hand and my book and a bagel in a bag in the other. my favorite is when people who i know recognize me as someone who works in the office avert their eyes and keep walking. it's because we can't let anyone in without a badge - unless we know the person works in there. security of customer information and whatnot. standing there with people averting their eyes and waiting for someone to acknowledge me...feels like being in junior high all over again.
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