the grouch

i'm grouchy today. i had nightmares about my dad dying and it kept waking me up in tears. what's that all about.* he did own and operate a successful winery so that was kinda cool but him dying was definitely not cool. neither was my lack of sleep. i woke up and said "what the fuck" out loud and stumbled around the house getting ready for work. i love getting out at 3:30 but getting up earlier to work at 7am is brutal because i'm a big night owl and would rather stay up late than get enough sleep. i have this thing where i don't want to waste my night because that's my time. why go to bed early so you have more time for work? that's silly. so i'm chronically a bit tired but at least i have more time in the evenings to do whatever i want. like play video games! that's great, i sound real responsible and mature. then again there were monster things chasing after my dad in my nightmare so maybe the video games before bed isn't such a great idea.

so my grouchiness. it didn't happen when i went outside and walked around in the slushy wet snow. it didn't happen when i was brushing the snow off my car or when some idiot SUV almost pulled into my car. nope. it wasn't until about an hour into running the morning reports people started bugging me at my desk about a report missing information. which is fine but even after telling them it's not something i did but rather it's something from where i get the reports from; and i don't have contact information and i'm the only one doing this today because my prod support buddies are both out. i hate not being able to make something work especially when these people don't give up complaining about it! arg. even after i told them there's nothing i can do. so on top of being annoyed that my whole routine's been shot this morning i'm frustrated these reports will take me all day to do. ugh. luckily they found someone else to complain to and i'm free. for a couple hours at least.

so what do i do to control this grouchiness? i have been listening to Roxette on my ipod and venting to abigail...and this blog apparently. so far it's helping. i can't wait for this day to be over with. i don't get grouchy or feeling this impatient and frustrated very often so when it hits i can't wait for it to go away. i keep wondering if it's almost that time of the month but no, too early.

oh and look at that. someone else complaining about something not working. great! why's this always happen when i'm all alone. bleh.

*i called my dad this afternoon to make sure he was okay. those kinds of dreams make me paranoid. at least it didn't happen while he was traveling somewhere in the middle east.