last night tim called me with news alex was rear-ended and sent to the hospital. he asked if i could watch their baby while he went to the hospital was surprised when i offered use of my car to him. how else would you get to the hospital, buddy? poor thing was so worried and frazzled i think he forgot the about the small detail of transportation. i told him not to worry and i would stay with the paco taco [baby] as long as they needed me to.
alex is okay. she is in a lot of pain because of her pre-existing herniated disc and now the impact has caused her back to be strained and to feel like it went out. good news is the teenager who wasn’t paying attention and slammed into her is insured and has a rich daddy. they also seem really nice and have offered to help in any way possible. They even visited her at the hospital.
it was the first time it’s just been me and the baby since he was born four months ago. it wasn’t too bad. he’s an easy-going baby. he was sleeping when i arrived and woke up confused about a half hour later. he was threatening to cry until i picked him up and changed him. he was thrilled to be half naked. wee! babies love naked time. i re-dressed him and played with him until he started crying for food. this is the part i don’t like – the crying. it’s so noisy. i made up the formula and sat him down to eat it. when i finally had him to sucking on the bottle his eyes were rolling around in all directions under droopy eyelids. of course the phone rings in the middle of feeding and i suddenly fantasize about a third arm. i can’t hold him and the bottle and get the phone at the same time. if i remove the bottle he wails. i have no way of propping it anywhere and he’s too young to hold it. ugh! so i let him cry and bounce him around on my knee. luckily it’s Tim and he understands the noise. in time the baby chills out, call’s over and i can feed him again. the rest of the night was changing him, playtime and taking pictures. the little guy loves his picture taken! he should – alex and tim are both photography fiends. it makes sense.
my thoughts after the evening.
while he was crying and while i was fantasizing about a third arm i thought about single mothers and fathers. how do they do it? what a nightmare. i can’t imagine dealing with a baby alone. then i thought about community and what a dream having a close-knit group of people you could trust helping you and lived very close to you. it makes sense why people who decide to reproduce tend to stay close to home. of course, it would be best to have people of similar ideals and attitudes – like a group of friends. rather than only having your family. as much as it’s great to have family around i don’t know if i’d really want most of my extended family around that often. immediate family, definitely. i’ve had a few conversations with people about how it would be ideal to have a communal-type environment for that kind of thing. i know, very hippy of me to say this but it makes sense. is it realistic in our times and society? not really. we’re too independent for communal living. there are groups who succeed at it. quite a few in portland actually. speaking for myself i don’t know if i could really do it either. i love being available to help and share resources but i love my independence. it would be a big thing to commit to and i don’t do well with big commitments. or people dependent on me and sacrificing all those things you have to sacrifice when you have kids. it totally freaks me out. which is reason #1 i have a really hard time imagining myself with a kid.
so i’ll leave it to alex and tim and i’m happy being tia kelly for now. i do really love their son and i can't wait to watch him grow up.
(i'm sure those close to me, if you're reading this, are shaking your heads in surprise. me, goo'ing on about a baby. no, the world's not coming to an end)
*update: alex is okay but on disability because the injury to her back aggravated a pre-existing herniated disc and after x-rays the doctor informed her she also has a fracture in one of her bones in her neck. poor thing. :(
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