"what have i done to deserve this"

...nothing really but i like this song.

thoughts on being single. i love it. it's safe. it's fun. it's freedom. i think loads of people in my life will applaud the girl who can settle me down. in the meantime it's me-time. there's my complication ladies - commitment scares the [fill in the blank] out of me. great, huh.

so what do i do with me-time? i go on long-ass bike rides and to the gym (when motivated to). i spend my time bouncing from friend to friend to nap to my room to event to person and so on. i read books. i savor doing things spur-of-the-moment. sometimes i take a really long time doing laundry because i can.

long bike rides are a new thing for me. a new thing i am totally addicted to. saturday was one of those days. i was taking a long and leisurely time sleeping-in, coffee with housemates on the deck and laundry. i totally forget about my phone until i see it flashing and there are a bunch of missed calls and text messages. why, because i left my phone on my bed stand on vibrate. it was one of those mornings. jess was one of the texts & missed calls - wanting to get outside to do something. of course i'm game! jess-kelly time is my favorite time. i get out of the house by 12:45 and ride over to her house for a tandem bike ride in the sunshine.

we get on the tandem, fill the tires up at the recyclery and ride over to the esplanade. let the smiles begin! people love us on the tandem. we get waved-at, smiles and people in cars getting really excited about how cute we are on the tandem. amazing. ding ding of the bell for smiles! i like to think it's because we're two curly-haired girls on a tandem bike. or maybe it's just the bike.

we ride down the esplanade, the springwater corridor and down to the Bins. park the "station-wagon-grocery-bringer-tandem" halfway in the handicap ramp. *shrug there's enough room for a wheel chair...if they're not huge. or a rascal but secretly i want to see a super wide person on a rascal attempting to get around the tandem, red in the face with frustration. backing up and forward and back and forward....we decided we could always listen for the loudspeaker asking "whoever owns the big giant bike...could you move it out of the handicap ramp...." luckily that didn't happen.

went through the bins for awhile and found a few things. i might have to see jess in her turquoise running outfit. maybe that could be worn on the next tandem ride. except then i would have to wear something as um, colorful. i might have to re-think that. we see the springwater trail and jump on the trail because neither of us have been over there. surprise - it's awesome. lots of the nature happening. a river of sorts. bridges. in one word - gorgeous. summer spot for sure. we take a route across a bridge and down a bumpy hill into a country club? random. make our way around there feeling lost until we find tacoma. ride over the freeway and down a very steep hill which is frightening on a tandem! especially when you're sitting in the back and not seeing where you're going. eeek.

we head through a neighborhood trying to find the corridor/esplanade and on the way head up a hill. the hill. did i mention the bike is 50lbs? yeah. heavy. so we're huffing and puffing. car's coming at us and we run into a big black truck that's been out in the sun all day. that means it's hot kids. jess took the brunt of the impact to avoid scratching the truck. causing a burn on her arm that she said felt like a really bad indian rub burn. we jump off the bike and what do i do? walk ahead of jess while she's in pain and leading the bike up the rest of the hill by herself. what? yeah, i know. i plead insanity. my reputation of "nice" kelly out the window. yeah, i can be clueless. what. so jess gives me shit, as she should. i feel like an ass. we get back on the bike and look for somewhere to eat. dairy queen! ice cream! that makes everything better. jess shows me how to make dirty things in the ice cream and we laugh about me being an ass while she's in pain and hauling a big heavy bike up the hill. we jump back on the wagon to head back to portland and find somewhere to eat along the way.

We decide to stop at roadside attraction for the patio. sandwiches and beer. i watch jess get more and more tired. meanwhile i'm trying to maintain my energy for the next long bike ride. walk the bike to her place, watch her crash for her double shift and i'm on my way home to meet people in a half hour. legs are starting to burn...

jamie joined cassie and i for a bike ride. remember that i just finished about 20 miles on a tandem with jess. so yes, my second long ride of the day. go me! so off we go! almost the same route: tillamook (street), 7th and down to esplanade. esplanade to springwater and a bit around sellwood. then back. my ass is totally hurting at this point and continued to ache for days afterward. it hurt to sit for long periods of time. so the second ride was super fun. it was mostly riding at a moderate-to-fast pace. we stopped for sushi on the way back. i had grilled tuna because i don't really like sushi. then back home where i took a shower and collapsed into bed. so tired!

it was a great day. i can't believe i was still going! wow.

baby cheesus strikes again

cheesus strikes again and this time they're wondering "how much could we get on ebay for this?"

for previous cheesus reference see my previous cheesus post from last year.

super creepy banker

this face greeted me from my credit union's website. she has super creepy crazy eyes.

Look into my eyes!

YOU WILL BANK WITH _______.

YOU WILL GET A CREDIT CARD.

YOU WILL GET A SAVINGS ACCOUNT.

YOU WILL GET A CD.

YOU WILL GET A LOAN.

Capricious Bearded Sky Fairy

I really enjoy reading the news. What i enjoy more is reading peoples' comments about articles or forum postings on the news sites. this bbc news forum article had quite a few that are worthy of sharing.

articles like this are also fun to read because seeing all those other non-believers out there makes me happy.

A few of my favorite outtakes from these comments:
1. "Capricious Bearded Sky Fairy"
2. "It's rumbly-jumbly nonsense made up centuries ago to pacify the masses when most of us were thick. "
3. "...a bit like harry potter for loon balls"
4. "I don't know why we should listen to this guy just because he has an invisible friend."

A few of my favorite comments:

No, he doesn't because he (or she) doesn't exist. It's rumbly-jumbly nonsense made up centuries ago to pacify the masses when most of us were thick. If it gives comfort, fine, but don't pretend to the rest of us it has any wider worth. Some of the most hypocritical, immoral, supercilious, uncaring and self-satisfied people I come across are those who feel the need to inform everyone of their religious faith (yes, including Christianity), as if this makes them irreproachable. Frankly, Scarlett...
- Neil Hardie, Aberdeenshire

Dr. Williams claims to have some exclusive line of communication with a supernatural entity - "god". He claims to know the will of god. What planet is this man on?
I find his whole "religion" and "god" claims to be without any substance whatsoever. Men of superstition should not be given so much air time.
- N M, High Wycombe, United Kingdom

Well what's going to happen if we accidentally destroy the planet? Who's going to worship him then? Aliens? They're probably smart enough not to waste their time with all that religion.
- Nick, Manchester

Isn't this the same God who plans on sending the vast majority of mankind to eternal hellfire?
If anything, the sadist must be licking his lips over the whole thing.
- Allan Banda, Blantyre, Malawi

lazy blogging

re-post from my [secret] i'm-going-to-lose-weight-and-be-healthy blog.

wow, slacker i am one. when it comes to my blogs. i'll try harder, promise.

let's see, as for exercise. went to the gym a couple times last week. walked around a neighborhood. lifted my fat cat up and down a few times. did some push-ups and sit-ups in my room.

i haven't weighed myself because i'm afraid to, the scale's never correct (i know because i tested it against the one at the doctor's office and the one upstairs) and it's that time of the month so that means i'm retaining lots of water. i don't need to weigh my water weight.

as for this week. i slept monday night because i didn't get enough sleep all weekend. this taking naps thing after work is making me feel old. i won't have time for the gym until tomorrow. i think this weekend i'm going to try to go almost everyday (depending on degree of hangover after friday night). i'm planning on painting the kitchen. that's a workout. dancing is planned for possibly thursday and definitely friday and saturday. sunday birthday = maybe bike ride. monday night is gay skate and more dancing? possibly. this will be the dancing birthday extravaganza.

food. i've been watching that, for the most part. i've been trying to get more veggies in. i'm cooking more vegetarian dishes. i'm trying to drink less beer and more mixed drinks. calories, check. i'm watching my portion sizes. except sunday night i was starving from only having one meal all day [hungover] and ate a big portion of corned beef and cabbage. yum. hangover, solved. oh and last night we had chicken nachos, which was probably not low-fat but very tasty. i had a salad for lunch...which cancels guilt feelings for cheesy nachos.

anti-pc thoughts

thoughts:

those who are so concerned about being politically correct and avoiding the chance they (or someone else) may offend someone often cause more offense and piss off more people than they would had they just pulled their panties out of their ass (and the stick hidden up there too) and said what they needed to say and stop caring so much about this perceived "offensiveness."

i'm obsessed.

thirsty?

another reason not to drink out of the drinking fountains in downtown portland.

paco taco, i am your godmother

i have been designated as godmother to alex and tim’s baby. alex tells me the other night they are baptizing the baby in the catholic church to appease her [alex’s] mother. i know, yuck. i wouldn’t do anything like that to make my parents happy. i would tell them baby’s not getting baptized, get over it. luckily, my parents aren’t like that at all. i'm a lucky girl.

so alex tells me part of being the godmother is attending a weekly class for a month to teach [brainwash] the chosen godmother. again, yuck. i said no way. i will be there at the baptism but i’m not going to those classes. what a nightmare! we agreed i will be teaching their son about the different religions and spirituality and the history of religion and spirituality. he will also learn critical thought and about choice. mostly i want to teach him the importance of choice. i don’t think the catholic church will condone nor, teach these things in “godparent class.” i still think it’s brilliant their baby’s godmother is an atheist. how’s that for irony.

wikipedia entry on godparents

obviously we are taking the more modern definition of a godmother: “the modern view of a godparent tends to be an individual chosen by the parents to take an interest in the child's upbringing and personal development.”

religious guidance, not so much.

why am i so invested? because i love them and especially their kid. that, and alex said she wants me to teach him as much as i can because i’m “smart.”

LOL

maybe i can be like that character in Big Fish telling him long stories to teach him lessons. who knows if he will believe any of it but maybe someday something will click and he'll call me up and tell me all about it.

things of interest on the internet today...

The Folkmanis Beaver Finger Puppet

i think the picture says enough.














Playmobile Security Checkpoint
The user comments are the best part of this toy.